Entry from 12.16.07 - Sunday
On Wednesday we are going into Alex’s workspace. A place I really want to see and am kind of scared to go to. I’ve thought of this place now and again since Alex spoke of it to me. I’ve probably thought it up to be something that it is not and surely I am doing it no justice. We will be entering a space much closer to Alex than I’ve been to before. What will I see? What will we capture? We’ve got to be receptive enough and careful enough to capture what is there. I think we are going to film a conversation with him. Maybe get into filming his process of creating, whatever/however it is. This will be one part of many ongoing discussions...filmed like ‘interviews’. We will also be interviewing many people Alex has known over the years. It’s weird this whole project is sort of completely conceptualized in my brain, but nothing really ‘exists’ of it yet, besides about 2 hours of filming a performance and a million notes and ideas and discussions about it. It is an experience. I’m content with the experience that this project will give to me, it will be amazing. Something that nobody else will experience, has ever experienced, completely unique. Taking a shape, that with no effort could be copied because of all the factors that make it up...time, place, space, complexion, etc.
I also feel like we have another mission, aside from the experience, a mission of documenting/archiving Alex’s works, ideas, processes, etc. Also, a mission of creating a piece of work called a documentary. What is that like? What will it look like in the end? Hopefully we don’t get buried in the millions of possibilities. How will we swim in the ocean, and how far will we have to sink before we can swim? I want this thing to surface. I want to pass it on for people to see and know. Even though most will see it only as the very tip of the iceberg that made it. We will show selections we see appropriate to make a cohesive, acceptable, digestible film ‘documentary’. I suppose the greater project is to archive and make some kind of a historical reference to Alex’s wide range of ideas and work. We need money to do certain things. Where are we going to get it? We will do it anyway, money or no money. Money will make it less painful and laborious. Less taxing our minds and bodies. Is that a good thing or a bad thing? Maybe we should do it the harder/hardest way. We have to go to Sicily. I really hope we can go to New York. Those experiences will be invaluable and treasured forever...and for the doc, it will inform it and build it in a way that will make it even better than I can imagine. Wow, we are stepping into the waters...I’m not used to the temperature...I’ve felt water before, but it’s never felt like this. What am I getting into? We’ll see! I’m trying to look at a bunch of other films and documentaries to learn how these things are made and built. I like them. I respect them. I'm taking down some notes about them...while watching and observing, I might also share some of those. But they are so far away and so different than what I imagine our film being/becoming. We just have to make it, we have to do it. There is no other way. These other films can help spark ideas and can give advice and guidelines...which is very valuable...but in the end we have to do it! We are doing it, even if it has just started. How are we doing I wonder...?
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